- Never having to welcome your deadbeat loser human sponge of a brother-in-law into your home again. Ever.
- You can finally have seafood for dinner again. Or vegetables, or food with a sauce, or whatever other totally normal food your picky ex couldn’t tolerate. Which leads us to…
- More leftovers = YUM!
- The kids will no longer be betting on what time the next fight starts. Children should not be gambling!
- It’s your money, and you should be able to buy an iPhone if you want one.
- Your neighbor is single, good looking, and interested.
- Spending your weekend in an ESPN coma? Sure! Why the hell not?
- That non-conformist rebellion (and accompanying hairstyle) that you thought was so hot in high school? Not so sexy now.
- No longer having to keep that dirty little secret: your teeth whitening system.
- You can finally admit that he wasn’t acting like an asshole. He WAS an asshole!